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  • John Markowski

A Photo a Day - Day 22

I love beating a mundane topic or joke into the ground. While you stopped and moved on after five minutes, I kept going. And then I continued to fine tune the comedy of it all for the next four hours. The more you look at me like I'm crazy or tune me out, the more I'm energized.


Exhibit A: this bottle of dressing that sat on our dinner table this evening.

Funny item #1: A giant strawberry resides on the label but it states on the oval sticker above it that it "does not contain strawberries." Okay.


Funny item #2: On that same oval label: "Delicious on Fresh Strawberries". First off, ew. Maybe my palate isn't sophisticated enough to get this but, ew. So the biggest selling point of this vinaigrette is to pour it on strawberries? Seems a little limited in scope.


Funny item #3: The tag line on the product's website:


You know it on sight. That luscious, ripe red strawberry leaps right off the label. The soft pink tint behind the glass hints at delectable childhood indulgences. And that’s just the outside of the bottle! The real treat is that inside that bottle is a delicious one-of-a-kind taste sensation that’s become the best-loved red vinegar dressing on the market: our Blush Wine Vinaigrette Dressing!


Color me so confused. What childhood indulgences? Did you yearn to pour vinaigrette on your strawberries? I know I'm missing something with their marketing. What the hell is it?


Funny item #4: Our attempts (okay fine, my attempts) to create similar analogies for other products.

A jar of barbecue sauce that has a hunk of meat on the label: Product does not contain meat.

A jar of mayo that has a sandwich on the label. Product does not contain sandwiches.

A container of strawberry jam that has a scone on the label. Products does not contain scone parts.


See how far I've gone? It's not even funny any longer but that's what makes it so funny. Right? Right?


BTW, I scoured Amazon reviews for this product and everyone loves it, especially on salads with fruit in it like strawberries.


So now I kind of get it.


And that renders everything I wrote here no longer funny.

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