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  • John Markowski

A Photo a Day - Day 6

I have sleep apnea. The at-home test indicated I stopped breathing 478 times per hour, or something close to that number. The results scared me into committing to a CPAP machine.

When I test drove the first option, a full face mask, the nurse warned me: It will feel like sticking your head out the window of a fast-moving car.

F me, I thought to myself, I but I pushed on.

She fired up the machine. I flung the contraption off my head three seconds later. Nope. Not going to work. If I'm ever subject to any type of water torture, I'm giving up all the secrets. Struggling to breathe is not enjoyable. I'm a calm and laid-back dude, but if you dare to shove my head under water in a pool, I will legitimately mess you up. Just ask [name redacted] who tried it back in 1988 in [name redacted's] pool.

A "nose pillow" was my only other option. Pillow sounded comforting and more breathing friendly. I sampled the nose pillow. It was okay. No freaking out or mental breakdown. I agreed to bring it home and give it a whirl.

A year and change later, it still sucks.

I have yet to last longer than four hours with it in place. Once I open my mouth to breathe, as I'm wont to do, air blasts through my nostrils and into my mouth. I awake in a panic and give up.

Yet I keep trying.

It remains on my nightstand.

I keep waiting for my big breakthrough.

We'll see where things end up as we move into 2021.

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